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(via hodanadoh)
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I feel distant from some of ‘em every once in a while, but I love my family to death.
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This is exactly how I feel.
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what if tim burton is the devil
and johnny depp sold his soul to be famous
and the price he had to pay was to be in every tim burton movie?
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(via fuckyeahtheiza)
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Okay. Thanks for letting me know.
Me: Woooo. I lost my medicine. No worries, I'm still under 24 and am on my mom's insurance. I'll just go and get some more.
CVS: You don't have insurance, son.
Me: Nah, I do.
My mother: Yeah, we kinda took you and your brothers off of the insurance.
Me. Oh, ok then. Y'all sure don't have more money to pay for healthcare than I do.
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I actually have to try to be cordial. Not so much trying, as trying to be more than cordial. You said that the problem was us as a whole but I’m the only one that seems to get different treatment. If I was the problem then I would rather have heard that than bullshit. It’s no longer my place to be able to tell you anything so I’m just sitting here wondering. I swear, I hate bitching.
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That awkward moment
when Party In The U.S.A. comes up on shuffle and you’re like wtf and press next because you don’t wanna hear that shit….
but then you press previous song, when you realize that you actually do wanna hear it…
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That glorious moment
when you find one of the many chap sticks that was lost before its time.
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I love
when muhfuggas hear me and my brother playing Xbox. It’s the gayest and funniest shit that happens.
Him: I’m smangin’ that ass!
Me: Concentrate on taking this dick before you try to smang anything, nigga.
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That awkward moment,
in the morning, when your itunes is on shuffle and Look Back At Me by Trina comes on.
Mmmmhmmm.
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There needs to be a study group that’s dedicated to finding the best ways to pee with an erection.
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The curse of man.
Erections for no reason.
It feels like they’d use it to poke holes in wheels of Swiss cheese.
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The curse of man.
Oh, hole,
Oh, hole,
Why doth thee exist?
Boxers are made for the containment of my genitals, yet, you allow my bird to be uncaged.
You make it easy for him to escape the clutches of my undergarments and harder for me to cope with an erection.
You come with no button or zipper, for your fastening.
You are just a nuisance.
This is why my boxer briefs are my bottom bitches.
